Parenthood is not for Sissies

What in the hell does “mother’s day out” mean? You’re supposed to take a break from being a mom? This is what I have been told, that I need a break. I stay home with my daughter, as well as working from home. People have actually had the nerve to tell me that I should put her in daycare, “mother’s day out,” a couple of days a week. Why would I want to do that? I understand that a lot of people don’t have the option to work from home. I understand that childcare, in some way, shape or form is often necessary. But here’s my question: How and when did parents get so detached from parenting? What is it that makes people in our culture think that it’s good to dump our kids off on virtual strangers while we get things done, or just hang out and relax? I know that not all parents do that. But I do know of some who drop their kids off when they don’t even have to; it’s just because they want to. Why did these people have kids in the first place if they weren’t prepared to do the job? Why do they even want time away from their kids? I know that some people really don’t have any other choice; they have to go to work. But isn’t that how it should be? Shouldn’t daycare be a last resort, used for when you have to go to work? Shouldn’t babies and toddlers be with their moms and dads? It’s one thing to hire a babysitter or rely on grandparents to occasionally watch the kids while Mom and Dad have date night, or when parents are required to do something in which kids shouldn’t or can’t be involved. But what is with all of these parents relying on daycare on a daily basis just to have “personal time” or “get more done around the house?” I actually know one particular mother who drops her kids off every day, and then goes home and watches television; she doesn’t even clean her house.
I have done a lot of reading on parenting since the birth of my daughter. I have read lots of different opinions and talked to a lot of other moms, both in person and on message boards. I have witnessed the behavior of kids who spend most of their time with their parents, as well as kids who don’t. What I have found is that the kids who are with their parents most of the time are calmer, happier, more secure, and sometimes even smarter. They’re less likely to lash out aggressively or throw tantrums. Basically, they are just more contented because they feel wanted. People are pack animals, and we want to be with our pack. Estrangement from it leads to restlessness and discontent. So then, what you get is a child who is quickly frustrated or upset. There are, of course, other factors that can attribute to this, such as letting babies “cry it out,” but that is a subject that requires its own article.
It is a sad reality that too many parents are unwilling to do the hard stuff. It’s easy to let someone else take care of your child while you do the dishes and go grocery shopping. It is very disturbing to think that parents take their kids to daycare just to make things easier on themselves. They want to clean the house or work in the yard or go run errands. All of those things are possible with your child. I do them, lots and lots of other parents do them. Why are these particular parents so anxious to get away from their children? Why do they think they need things to be so easy? Life is not easy, parenting is not easy. Did these people grow up on fairy tales where everyone lived happily ever after with no effort put forth? Or are they just so submerged in our culture of convenience that the only work they’re willing to do is kind you get a paycheck for?
Children need their parents. They too soon go off to school, off in cars, off to college, why rush the separation? Why send them out into the world without a strong foundation to build from? Time with Mom and Dad is the best thing for them. They need our guidance and our time. American families need to take off the blinders. A family is not a fast food drive through or a pay-at-the-pump gas station. It’s not about convenience; it’s about being together even when things are difficult. It’s about putting each other first. Kids just need love and attention. They just need their parents to want them around.